My boyfriends mother is nearing the end of her chemotherapy - but lately she%26#039;s been very very manipulative. She hasn%26#039;t been married since my b/f was a little kid, and all she has is her son (my b/f). But lately she%26#039;s been laying on guilt extremely heavy onto my b/f about how he spends more time with me, etc. No matter what he says or does she throws it back at him as if everything is his fault.
She wasn%26#039;t really like this before, but I suspect she finds me a threat since her son is spending more time with me than with her (like it used to be pre-me). We%26#039;re both 24 and most likely will marry. My b/f has explained to her that when he marries someone he plans on %26quot;leaving and cleaving%26quot; to his wife, but she keeps saying that he%26#039;s going to leave her, blah, blah, blah. (Even though he will be leaving her - and he isn%26#039;t wrong about that.)
We%26#039;re very frustrated because she is so pessimistic about things and when we invite her places she mopes around about how she isn%26#039;t feeling well and decides not to go.
Anyway... last night she was very childish with the way she walking talking to her son (my b/f) and quite frankly he%26#039;s tired of how she manipulates him.
Is a personality change normal in people undergoing chemo?|||first lets look at this if you were to have poison put in your veins how would you be feeling this diagnosis is rocking her world so she is holding on to her son and you should be patience and grow up and support her during this time. It is a scary disease if you are really in love and you are smart you will realize that mother and son are bonded for life. Best thing you both can do is educate yourself and be there for her no matter what.|||Cancer changes you, how can it not?
If you were strong before, then you realize how vulnerable you are and like the rock that breaks after wave after wave hits it, cancer can be the wave that breaks the human soul.
Surviving cancer, going through treatments, it is possible that radiation will be the next step gradually wears out a person. Especially if his mom has come to depend upon him he could represent the only thing that she has to cling on to for support. Otherwise she could believe she would drown without him.
Yes, to answer the question the entire ordeal everything she already has gone through and what lies ahead for her changes the person%26#039;s outlook. Where you were brave before you could now be scared. If you thought you were dependent before you realize that you are not and that in itself is scary.
Be patient is the best advice, realize she is going through one of the toughest battles life offers. Many do not survive it, so be kind. You have time, if your love is true then give his mom a break, you do not know the demons that she fights at night. Alone.|||No. Chemotherapy does not change your personality, but being ill with a life threatening disease will alter your whole outlook on life itself.
I have no advice for you except to remain patient and . . quiet about your boyfriends mother around your boyfriend. Blood will always win out . . keep that in mind.|||Mary, everyone that%26#039;s answered is correct to an extent. When I see the word, personality, I think mental changes. Chemo doesn%26#039;t change your personality per se...you%26#039;re sitting around the house, not able to work, alone while the others in your household go about their life, dwelling on your mortality and what ifs. It can take a toll on you, let me tell ya! I was put on antidpressants because it%26#039;s very common for those with cancer to get depressed, geez! I was only on it for a few weeks and was weaned off, but it may really help his mom to feel a little more like her old self sooner.
She%26#039;s upset, feels like hell, is left alone while y%26#039;all go out for a good time and she probably just doesn%26#039;t feel like getting all fixed up to go out with you guys. Her son should leave you home once in a while and take his mom out to someplace simple and pleasant, like movies, dinner, the mall, the park, who knows all the places she would like to go? I doubt very seriously she finds you a threat. All mothers want their sons to find a good woman to share their life with...the problem may arise when the son lets the girlfriend, wife, etc, influence his actions towards his mother. Mom will know, I promise, if it%26#039;s his own thoughts coming through or his girlfriend talking through him. If he%26#039;s that easily swayed by the %26quot;other woman,%26quot; you%26#039;ve got a long row to hoe, girl.
Panda is right on; you should probably stay quiet and supportive of the relationship with his mom.|||cancer changes people, chemo %26#039;therapy%26#039; , ravages the body and the brain.......period.|||Cancer in my family is very rampant and strong. Almost every member had one form or another and all had chemo. let me tell you, having cancer can change you. Going through chemo can make a person very fragile. A peron can become very depressed, fatigued, not wanting to be around people, weepy, and snap at people for no apparent reason. This to me is a personality change but not because the person wanted it. Chemo is a toxin, It affects every areas of your body and this would include the brain. So if your mom is acting different, it%26#039;s because the chemo is affecting her. Once chemo is done, she should begin to be herself again. Once all those toxin leave her body.. Be patient with your mom. Don%26#039;t stop caring or supporting her. She needs you to understand more than anything. Her pessimism will change to optimism. How do I know??? I%26#039;ve been there God bless.|||Personality change is quite common %26amp; perfectly %26quot;normal%26quot; in people who have been diagnosed with cancer, silly goose! It probably has less to do with the chemo than with the fact she just got a BRUTAL reminder that she is (one day) going to die!
She will (hopefully) change again soon, when the chemo is done, she ISN%26#039;T dead, and realizes that she really could have been....paradoxically, surviving cancer often makes folks happier and waaaay more relaxed %26amp; accepting of the world, since they realize that COULD have been it, so everything else is gravy...let%26#039;s hope it goes that way with your fella%26#039;s Mom...
