Okay, it is hard to be aggressive toward women since in America, all these women don't like Asian guys because of their negative stereotype. It it wasn't the case. It would be so much easier. Anyway, one time I was talking to girls and nervously because in my mind, I'm already thinking like %26quot;this girl just don't want to talk to me because I'm Asian and she might think I'm a weirdo%26quot;. How do you get these kind of mindset out of your brain? Do they have classes like where they train you to be more aggressive and changing your personality?
How can I talk to girls without being nervous?
christopher your so right, then so wrong.
1) dont change yourself for anything. girls arent attracted to a guy whose easily manipulated by them, dont let yourself be controlled. be yourself and be proud of who you are. girls like confidence alot more then anything else. it wont matter how you look, it wont matter how you dance, or any of that crap. good looks and a large dick help, but its really not needed.
2) that said, dont talk to them like a friend, because they are not. a girl you meet that your trying to get with is nothing like your friend.
3) the best thing you can do is NOT worry about striking out. look at the biggest players you know. you may not hear about it, but they miss alot more then they hit. in baseball, one player i the last 70 years batted over .400. that means that one player hit the ball 40% of the time in the last 70 years. if you hit the ball 33% of the time your an all star. getting girls is similar. if you get half of the girls you came on to, your a wizard. dont worry about missing out on the 70% who shoot you down, because who cares.
4) be proud of being asian. wether you have a small penis or not, be proud of who you are. maybe asians know cool sex moves (who cares if they really do or not). use the line %26quot;there wouldnt a billion of us if we didnt know how to ****%26quot; you get the picture. anything about anyone can be turned into a negative or a plus, which is it gonna be for you?
How can I talk to girls without being nervous?
%26quot;Aggressive%26quot; is probably not the word you should be using in this case. %26quot;Confident%26quot; would be more appropriate. You can't really learn to be aggressive, nor should you want to in terms of talking to members of the opposite sex. Any girl worth your time won't be impressed by an aggressive guy, but they all go for confidence.
I give this advice to people who are nervous about all kinds of different things. I find it applies equally across most facets of life, so long as you understand the meaning as not entirely literal.
Just stop caring.
Obviously, it's not that easy. But in your case, you should get the idea of being Asian out of your head. Aside from the fact that it shouldn't concern you what someone else thinks of your race, Asian people are not as negatively profiled as other races in this country. I highly doubt it's crossing their mind in terms of attraction to you as a potential boyfriend.
Ask yourself this. If you talk to a girl and totally make a fool of yourself, would it be any worse than being afraid to talk to them for the rest of your life? Would doing it a hundred times be any worse? Like all things, confidence and charm will come with practice. Get out there and mix it up and in time, you'll figure out it's not as difficult as you're making it out to be. Don't get hung up on race, don't let a few nervous moments discourage you-- stick with it and know that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
be proud what you are.
just mellow out bro
First of all stop using words like %26quot;aggressive%26quot;..lol.. I think what you are trying to say is..outgoing, friendly.
One way to not be nervous is try not to have does thoughts. If you think that way they will think that way too.. Just be yourself. and try to be funny and friendly. One way to not get nervious when talking to girls is imagin them as being normal like you. If you make yourself believe she is just like you, you have no reason to get nervious about... (you don't get nervious with yourself do you? lol..)
good luck
I still get nervous when i want to talk girls. Try working out and get into Martial Arts, like Kenpo, or MMA, or Kung Fu, ect. Martial Arts have helped me in my self esteem, well mainly my instructor has helped. Girls like confident, and Martial Arts will definitely help in that department. Try something different and random if you a pretty girl you know or want to get to know, just say hi or if they know a great pizza place to eat at, boom that should help. You might even find a nice one at Church, not all girls who go to church are stuck up, and quite friendly. Good luck.
Don't change yourself for anyone...
But that being said,
Think of her as a guy, talk to her like you would any other friend.
you are obviously a bright boy
with a lot of love to offer.
why should your skin tone
have anything to do with it?
the trick is confidence.
it takes work but once
you find the girl you can
be confident around
and stop thinking so negative
woman won't seem so
nerve wracking. :)
Change your mindset. Look at yourself in the mirror every morning, smile and repeat %26quot;I am a beautiful person, just like everybody else%26quot; helped me a bunch. Now I love myself for who I am and don't care if anyone judges me.
Read the book %26quot;the fine art of Small Talk%26quot; by Debra Fine. Instead of talking, ask questions and listen. You don't need to be so nervous if you're not the one doing all the talking! Girls usually don't have guys that show a real interest in their opinions, their hobbies and talents. Get the focus off you, show a real interest in a girl, ask intellligent questions about her, and you won't have to worry about being nervous!
You need to build your self-confidence and self esteem, start by looking up articles to help you on google, also take up a hobby that involves physical. You can gain confidence through that. It doesnt matter the color of your skin, whatever you believe about yourself is who you are.
Change your thoughts today - think like you re just like everyone else, even better than them.
Just be yourself. Personally I think that is the best way a guy can act. And there are so many women in this country, just keep looking for that right girl. One who will make you feel completely comfortable and you wont even think you are weirding her out. good luck!
Speak with love and good wishes to children because they do not know.
Grow some balls and stop being such a pansy
The key is practice. You just have to go through the motions until you are comfortable with them. If you are finding it difficult to talk to girls in your current environment you should go somewhere that you are anonymous. Go to a shopping mall in a city that you don't live in and no one knows you. Then walk up to girls and start a conversation and ask them for their phone numbers. If no one knows you then there are no consequences and no real risks, you are free to do whatever you want with no fear of repercussions later. This will help you get over your nervousness and when you are ready to talk to girls that you are interested in later it will be easier because you will have practice and know how to handle yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKVmmiIwE鈥?/a>
I think this video is great. Several guys making fools out of themselves trying to get some girls and they occasionally succeed. If that does not give you confidence then I don't know what will. Watch the video and watch them get some numbers. Odds are you can probably do better then that.
I use to be shy and hesitant when I talk to people during my early childhood, and teenage years, because my parents didn't really give too much attention to me because of work, but I still love them, so people who looked after me until now were parents during weekends and holidays, friends, and boyfriend (Asian guy)
When I was shy, no one took me seriously, and I used to get bullied a lot. What I did was my friends convinced me was to stand my ground, and use my voice. I would practice talking to the mirror, and watch dramas to learn conversations. I learned martial arts (sorry, I'm not trying to flatter your culture) and I developed confidence, hope in life, ambitions, goals, characteristic developments, and the knowledge/ability to stand up against bullies.
Some things that you could do is to read famous people speech such as Fredrick Douglass speeches, %26quot;I Have a Dream%26quot;, presidential speeches in history in a loud, clear, and eloquent tone (do this when talking to people) to improve your conversational skills. You could also try to repeat how rappers rap.
In order to get a girlfriend, make sure you have confidence, boldness, posture, humor, outgoing, kind, loyal, and interesting.
If I were you, I would ignore negative stereotypes, but aim to become a better person. Besides, a lot of negative stereotypes were made by people who sees one portion of the world and are inaccurate towards Asian American guys anyways.
Sorry if this sounds like garbage, I typed this at 1:30AM ~_~
Good luck!
