love it crazy when you dont know how to use it...
love is so hard to handle but you just cant refuse it...
you just found out that the one you love is fake...
you just wanna go back and change it all
because you know you made a mistake...
being with that person changed your personality...
now that your in hell you want to go back to reality....
the consequences can be hard....
now that you broke that persons heart your gonna be scarred...
you feel like you ****** up your world....
but you want to back with that one special gurl....
she had your name across her arm.....
she feels ****** stupid because she's been used....
by someone who cared about her and would reply: %26quot;i love you to%26quot;
now that you woke up and relized what you've done....
you cant belive that what you did has now came true.....
Is this a good poem???
Your confusin poetry with hiphop.
Is this a good poem???
uh cut the swearing, poems should be deep
it could be a rad song.
i dont know about a poem.
someone has aids!?!?!?!?!
im soo sorry. i love your poem though. id give you a 8 outa 10!
wow, I like it, has a really good meaning !
answer my question plzz
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
so the content, veryyy nice
but the whole half ryhimg, have just like talking?
not so much
it needs to be structured better.
Not very. Try not to rhyme so much.
avoid swearing, and you changed the sequence. the first two lines rhyme, but after that you did every other line. needs to be more consistent
sounds more like a letter to someone.....
might want to shorten the personal thoughts in it......
well poems are a form of expression, so it's more of an opinion question.
in my opinion, it's really amateur like the writing technique (no offense) but the message is really good and relatable.
I don't like it. Too many curse words and doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
hmm its kinda confusing . is it a situation where this guy have this girl that loved him so much and he didnt cherish her. then now she wanna give up on him and he start realizing what he done wrong?
That is such a great song i just got done singing sound better as a song great words keep it up its really good fareal
It sounds incredibly fantastic! Don't tell me but I think you must be a tatoo artist! Am I close??
You should never change yourself for anyone, just make negotiations and acceptances. But it is a pretty good poem. I like that it is very deep.
I liked it. I published a poem once and it got accepted. You should do the same and make some money off of it. I did
yes not only wus it a good 1 it waz a great 1 u must be goin threw this problem with a gurl i can see that allreadii i can kinda relate 2 that but except hes a boy and not a gurl i liked this poem if u wrote it yourself u should post sum new ones up on here cus i enjoyed that 1 ya digg~mz.ni3cy
its so bad i cant even make fun of it....
It's really cliche and it doesn't flow that well. I don't think poetry is your cup of tea.
You had me up until around the eighth or ninth line then it kind of went sporadic. Overall not too bad. Refine and sharpen your poetic skills...there's talent in them there brains of yours.
FYI: HipHop is poetry with music or any kind of sound for special enhancement and flow. I feel ya'.
Not bad, I like the loose rhyming style. A lot of modern poetry doesn't even bother to rhyme, I see it all the time, and I think its a crime.
Throw a couple of chorus sections in and it could make good pop lyrics too. A fair score would be 6/10, it's a little chaotic and hard to follow, and it could do with more structure, better to focus on one or two observations about something than list too many thoughts and ideas within a few lines.
Not bad, my boy, but perhaps try something more along teh lines of this:
Past one o鈥檆lock. You must have gone to bed.
The Milky Way streams silver through the night.
I鈥檓 in no hurry; with lightning telegrams
I have no cause to wake or trouble you.
And, as they say, the incident is closed.
Love鈥檚 boat has smashed against the daily grind.
Now you and I are quits. Why bother then
To balance mutual sorrows, pains, and hurts.
Behold what quiet settles on the world.
Night wraps the sky in tribute from the stars.
In hours like these, one rises to address
The ages, history, and all creation.
It was written by Vladimir Mayakovsky
