I'm 25 btw. My sister is starting high school in a new city soon. She was made fun of a lot in her old school and now has big dreams of being popular at the new school.
She is a pretty girl but certain aspects of her personality I think were more to blame than her looks. She has self depriciating humor (i.e. calls herself stupid trying to make others laugh, instead they just start calling her stupid!) likes to gossip about other people, sterotypes people a lot, has some gross personal habits (chewing on her hair and clothing, weird I know) but she just won't listen when I tell her this is a BIG part of her problem. She is really focused on her looks and clothing and is ignoring much bigger issues.
I am really scared she will come home crying (again!) when she realizes nice hair, clothing and makeup don't change your personality. I am really afraid she will repeat the same patterns then come cry to me when %26quot;Nobody%26quot; likes her. I have been going around in circles with her on thisfor years. She also seems to have the idea that being popular is some great, elusive thing that will somehow make her happy. I have done my best to explain that it doesn't matter when you grow up but she won't listen. She keeps begging me to help her with the hair and clothing and 'image' but when I start bringing up her personality she either cries, argues or ignores me!
I keep suggesting that my mom put her in therapy. It's almost like she has some mental problem or something but I can't find one that fits. My mom keeps insisting she is a good kid and nothing is wrong with her. I agree she is a good kid but I can't agree that nothing is wrong! What could be wrong and how do I help her?
I will give an extra 10 pts if you can answer this other long question regarding the same issue. It's long but way more detailed. This really means a lot to me, I will give 20 points if someone can give me a helpful answer on both!
My 14 year old sister wants to be popular. How can I help?
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she needs to try to meet some people on the first day but not everyone. She needs to remain mysterious.
On the first day she needs to wear something comfortable but cute since she will be walking around alot
.She needs to try to dress cute for the first week and then she can dress normally.
She needs to try to be confident in herself because it will make her seem more approachable.
I used to be very popular (which is what i THOUGHT i wanted)
but then i realized that being popular wasn't important it was more important to be nice to people and make friends and have fun.
I have more friends now then when i was popular.
When you are popular you don't have ANY friends. every is only pretending to be you friend so they can be popular too.
My 14 year old sister wants to be popular. How can I help?
tell her to talk a lot.
be confident.
try her hardest to be humorous [:
it really depends on the personality and type of person.
You can't really help your sister get popular.
It's up to your sister to improve her attitude/personality.
I don't know if therapy is needed, but you DO need to talk to your sister.
I know this sounds stupid but try getting someone %26quot;popular%26quot; to her and explain to her that it doesn't matter with makeup/clothing, but about your personality.
tell her to be herself. there is no point of being popular because its point less and your not happy. you have to fake who you are and it only lasts till the end of school and nothing more.
tell her to be herself. she will end up with friends who like her for her and thats what really counts to happiness
Sit her down , and tell her politely, kindly but firmly what she is dong wrong. Tell her to try not do the things you mentioned. Be kind and supportive.
Tell her to act confident, but not over confident, be interested in others,don't put her self down with humour, and try to remember not to show her .habits. in public. Ask her if she would like you to arrange counselling.
Tell her(politely) how her not listening is making you feel. Tell her she is pretty and nice girl who people will like if she tries abit harder. Maybe arrange for her to get anti depressants as well as counselling, or a herbal anti depressant. Also, try to get her to exercise, eat healthily and take a multi vitamin. They will help give her a better sense of well being. Tell her you love her! Good luck !
She cant force people to like her
I was very lukcy when i started my school, i managed to fit in with the popular crowd, all the girls and boys etc...but i didnt look down on the less popular kids, there called bullies, not all popular people are mean
I suggest she justs fits in where she feels comfatable, if she gets on with unpopular people she should hang out with them
I think talking to her will make her upset, who cares about all that 'be yourself' stuff, people like u people dont
Tell her to hang out with people who like her, or help her make mates that like her for who she is
