i am basically a very arrogant and proud girl but i am never one to look down on others or belittle other people although people may perceive me to be looking down on them. i am immensely insecure, inadequate with social anxiety, i lisp a little, i am socially retarded and nothing much to look at. so i have become a very arrogant person as a protective shell. i remember being looked down upon when i was in primary school and since then i have this arrogance with me and it is so hard for me to change or get rid of this as i am now 21 years and have been like this for so long. but my arrogance n proudness is much more prevalent now and i am really worried how m i going to survive as people would always try to finish off those who are perceived to be very proud. pls help me to change my mentality and how do i change my thoughts so that i come across as a more humble and sober person? let me reiterate that i am socially retarded and i dont even know howto say a hi or bye so i just snob people like a pathetic clown right on their face. i have tried opening up but have realised its impossible as it is a personality trait. is it possible to change your personality for the better? thanks
How to kill my arrogance and proudness?
of course it is, it's never to late
START NOW!
no one likes an arrogant person. When you look at people on the street try making eye contact for 2 seconds then smile. This is like an excercise for yourself
if they dont smile back it normal because alot of people (even me) get surprised that you would smile at a stranger, but it feels good that someone would want to smile at me
if they do smile, that's even better!!
for the people you do know they might doubt your drastic change but it'll be good.
when you see people at work or anywhere, try listening to them and engage in a nice conversation and laugh AND SMILE
don't look at their clothes or hair or figure, look at their face and really look like you are eager and like talking to them
How to kill my arrogance and proudness?
People can change behaviors. Traits are a little harder.
Your description of arrogance doesn't match anything I've seen. Arrogant people truly believe they are better than the dumb toiling masses. They are very self-righteous and most unwilling to change something as small as an opinion.
You sound instead as if you are very angry instead, which is understandable, given the degree of frustration in your life.
Social skills can be learned. Studying body language helps a lot. Shyness is a trait, but this too can be managed (in part) by mastering small talk. This at least gets the social gears in motion.
Well you can practice. This is what you can do, stand in front of the mirror and meeting your eyes smile a bit and say Hi, how are you?. Practice a lot. Smile sincerely so it goes into your eyes. Also eye contact is very important with people. Then when you are out try it a bit see how it works. At first you will be scared, but that is O.K.-- Just do it anyway. The more you do that the easier it becomes.
To help with your attitude toward people make a list of things you like and approve of about people. Then look for those things in acquaintances. Try to appreciate the good, non-scary aspects of people. Most people are O.K.
Also take it from a formerly arrogant person, live long enough and life will help you lose the arrogance.
It sounds to me like your %26quot;arrogance and proudness%26quot; are just an overcompensation for your feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, and not really representative of your true nature or personality. It's a way of keeping people from getting too close to you, resulting in your social retardation - if people think you're arrogant and proud they won't want to get close to you, and I suspect deep down you know that. My advice is don't be afraid to be who you really are inside. I imagine you're a little detached from that person, but the more you practice being yourself in social situations, the more your core personality will emerge. Good luck.
I think it's beautiful that you are trying to change your ways. This is a bit lardy da but hey, that's ok I'll say it anyway.
Strive for compassion. This is our era. 2010 we are all sharing this era together. This is the team! Try to spread as much love and understanding as you can. Sometimes insecurity is spawned from a very black and white notion that some of us must tell ourselves - %26quot;Don't be afraid of human beings%26quot;. How stupid does that sound eh!? Have a think about it, though, perhaps it may bear some colour, perhaps not.
As a really young tacka in primary school I used to go by an extremely flawed theory and it went like so - If I am rude and disrespectful to others from the minute I first meet them, maybe they will feel the need to relieve this hatred and suck up to me. Then I can be respected and chalk up a few new recruits on my lonely tally board of friends. No dice.
Overtime things have changed, though. I'm 21 now as well and I would like to think quite a bit of that naivety has left me. I'm seeking for as much comfort I can make myself in life and I want to share as much I can with others. When I think about it, I think life almost revolves around comfort, so much decisions and actions are based off of it.
Meh, just dancing on the keyboard. Thanks for the opportunity! I needed to get away from English study for a while :)
Best of luck, I think you can do it :)
It is very hard, you can try all options mentioned here. It may work for a week after that you will be back to same old normal routine. It is already too late, only thing I can suggest is Yoga, Pranayam and Meditation from a well known true Guru and you have to monitored continously about your progress. You have to use your will power to overcome all such feelings and thoughts, read some spiritual books. Also read books by Dr. M.S. Udaya Moorthy, it really helps to change your thinking to positive thinking. If you have habit of reading books, go to a local library and read books by Paramahansa Yogananda.
Everything is possible, it will take long time and there is no overnight remedies. Patience and will power is very important. That is your only option because you already tried all other option prior to asking this question.
Good Luck!
