Well for the last 2 years I've transformed myself from a very fat ugly slob into a completely different person. I've become a pretty boy with a nice hairstyle, a nice body, and a life. Now that I'm very happy with the way my outer image is, I'm presented with another problem. Which is my own personality. I idolize my older brother. He's a pretty boy like me in his early 20's and hes just stunningly handsome. He's very cool headed and calm while I'm the bubbly, cheerful, obnoxious, talkative one. I feel very outspoken and am viewed as not serious which kills me. I feel very common. I've succeeded in looking the way I want but not how I am on the inside. I want to be able to be the calm, graceful pretty boy like my older brother is. Is it impossible to change your personality? Are we the way we are til the end? I was taught to %26quot;be myself%26quot; but what if I'm not happy with how I am? Should I embrace myself for who we are instead of trying to change it? At times I try to embrace myself for who I am but it starts to go out of control for example I'd be hyper laughing my butt off, and doing wild things in front of my friends which I feel is very unclassy. They accept me for who I am but I just don't feel happy. To be all hyper and jumpy and it just ruins my image and that saddens me.
Can you be something that your not?
Your personality is not your individuality. Personality is surface, a social construction, not what I consider your true self. However, it still exists. Finding something closer to your true individuality is difficult, and it took me a long time. If you're unhappy with who you are right now then you can change. It'll take a while for it to happen, and trial and error considering what you want. So yes, you can become something that you're not, but only you can figure out what you really want to become, and you'll probably go through this process for years and years--who says it ever ends? I'm only in my twenties right now. You can still be your true self--your individuality--but change your surface--your personality. As you learn to balance the two out to make you feel more like yourself then you'll become more and more happy. I used to have a lot of traits I hated, and I weeded them out slowly. You can still be bubbly and cheerful without the obnoxiousness, just find out who you really are, not who you're used to being.
Can you be something that your not?
Thereasa's answer is BS you can change what ever you want about your life, it's your life right? Be what ever the **** you wanna be! just keep workin at it.
Lay down and think. About yourself. Dig under all your disguises, and find yourself. It might be hard, but at least TRY. It can't hurt. FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS!!!!
For now, you are the bubbly, cheerful, outspoken person so yes, embrace that, if that is who you truly are and you're not trying to BE your brother. Stop comparing yourself to your brother and be happy that you're different from him. If there is something that you do that you don't like, because YOU don't feel comfortable being that person, then change but take it slow, one thing at a time. Maybe you're still in the phase of finding out who you are and maybe you don't really know who you are yet...so try trusting your own judgment and instincts and live life! It sounds like you made a huge change on your physical image, that's gotta take some time to settle. Go easy on yourself ;).
no, i have gone through the same thing. only, i am an extremely shy person,and my brother is outgoing and super confident. i have always admired my brother for that, but you really cant change. i have tried if you begin to change your going to start coming off as fake and your not going to be as liked as you already are, just give it time. it already sounds like you have made a fine change. be happy with what you are and not what you want to be.
